I was thinking today about some of my eccentricities (or what the less tactful may refer to as tendencies toward "lameless") that others have commented on over the years, and also decided to add some that only those in my "inner circle" may know about me...and perhaps even one or two that only I know (pretty soon to be 'knew').  Well, here it is...you're hearin' it first...spankin' new and shizz:

I wear socks with my sandals.  This is usually only around the house, because for some reason it just feels right...enough roommates, friends and SO's have commented on it for me to feel like an outcast.  One person said I was "Soooooo asian"...whatever that means.  Truth is, it just makes me feel like an albino ninja turtle.

I eat condiments straight from the packet.  Say what you may, but I will remind you that we all bleed the same color...unless a person happens to be in an oxygen free environment.  However, sometimes when I have left over condiment packets (be it spicy mustard, bbq sauce, Arby's sauce, ketchup, etc.), I feel inclined to eat them if I know I am just going to throw them away.  Some people say, "Put them in the fridge, then...save 'em for another meal!" and to them I reply, "Maybe I'm still hungry!!!"

I shadow-box...a lot.  And no, I'm not talking about making a cool case for a book report type of shadow-box...more like the violently beating the air into submission with ferocious Tekken combos, that would bring Jinpachi to his knees.  I'm not afraid to do it when people are watching, but I really let loose when I have an IPOD with my favorite jams, and there are no people within a half-mile radius.  Oftentimes, I make up fight scenarios in my mind, and fight invisible enemies...so far I'm undefeated...though critics (in my cavernous and surprisingly hollow expanse of a mind) say I haven't fought any real "contenders".

I count my steps quite often.  (On a sidenote: I think Orthodox Jews are pimps...like Matisyahu or whatever his name is) Yes, for some reason I have been counting my steps, on a pretty consistent basis (though not all the time) since I was around 10 years old.  It works as a mantra of sorts to keep me from worrying (smells like OCD...hmm), and has also caused me to become quite adept at judging distances for lawns, targets with the M16, how close I can get to those who have restraining orders against me...and so forth.

I sing along to music by female artists, using falsetto.  For some reason, if I like a song, I must sing along to it...and try to maintain as much integrity to the way the artist sounds as possible.  I have been caught singing along to Regina Spektor, Imogen Heap, Fergie, The Cranberries, and many, many more...some people say my girl voice sounds pretty good (hmm...maybe something to fall back on during these harsh economic times...hmmm...where to steal a wig?).

I love playing old school RPG's.  Up until this point in my life, the first rule of my RPG addiction, was not to talk about my RPG addiction...but I'm reaching out to whoever is listening.  During some of the more dismal, bleak, and hopeless moments of my life, I have thrown myself into the imaginary worlds of the Role-playing game and spent many an hour vacationing in my mind, to some place that is more interesting, and definitely less ordinary and monotonous than my so-called life (I'm part emo...I think my great grandma on my mom's side was full emo...not to be confused with emu...which reminds me of a longer and more disturbing story about why I have so much fine blond body hair).  And no, I do not play WOW (too mainstream...I'm an indie gamer)...but I will get down on some Oblivion.

  I cry during sad movies, but strongly and silently...no whimpering.  I feel no need to defend myself here, and in fact, I pity all those who laugh at me, for not possessing the sometimes overwhelming sense of empathy I have for people who are acting like people who are experiencing tragedy.  I cry when I watch Braveheart, The Last Samurai, Gattaca (not all the time), Click (once), The Fountain (if you feel nothing from this movie you have no soul), Schindler's List, and perhaps a few more, but I can't quite recall them (either that, or I don't want to name all of them since I may or may not be starting to feel a bit self-conscious of my wussyness).  For the record, I just shed a single (sometimes consective single tears...making a stream of tears...but not like streaming down my face in a pathetic way)...you know what? Just shut up! Shut up! All of you! Stop making fun of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  Oops...flashback to gradeschool *curls into ball*...hot water burn baby...

This takes us to my final confession...please hear me out before assuming I am a coprophiliac!  I just don't know what else to put here, picture-wise.  I was going to write, I entertain myself in strange ways...but this does not really explain it too well.  Ok, get ready for it:  Sometimes, when I'm in a public place, especially a high-stress-having-to-wait-in-line type of situation (i.e. DMV, post office, the Veterans Hospital pharmacy, Six Flags...), and I notice my hatred of people creeping up on me like my dead grandmother with a knife in her teeth (thanks, Hunter S. Thompson), I begin envisioning outrageously funny scenarios taking place.  These scenarios cater to my sophomoric sense of humor, since they are specially concocted for the purpose of my own entertainment. So for example....*thought bubble pops up in line at the DMV* "Hmmm...that would be funny if that nervous-looking sweaty bald guy over there just let out a blood curdling scream, jumped up on the counter and took a shit, and started slinging it at people (me excluded)!"...and then I beginning laughing to myself about how funny something like that would be, and suddenly I am zen-like in my state of mind.  I remember the 4 noble truths...and acheive balance...balance aside from the hysterical and seemingly inappropriate laughter that begins drawing the attention of others, that is.  If only they knew how inappropriate it really was...

Now...I hope that wasn't too disturbing.  I feel very vulnerable now for having shared this softer side of myself...please do not use this insight into my very soul to harm me in any way.  Sometimes I can be too trusting...I hope this wasn't a mistake that will end in heartbreak.

Shalom...