Premonition is a spooky thing...especially when these brief glimpses of the future turn out to be phophetic.  If only I'd have predicted that 2 years of my life would be tied up in a relationship that would abruptly end after much fighting and the saying of many means things from both parties.  It's amazing how 2 normally mature, fully-functional adults can regress into a child-like state of name-calling and arguements about...well...whether or not what they are arguing about is even an arguement to begin with.  AHHHHHHHHHH...and a sigh of relief comes from deep within me!  It took some strength and tenacity to realize that though I was addicted to this person, in the end, quitting her cold-turkey was the best plan of action.

I cried...in a manner which I had not done since I was a pre-pubescent little shit of a humanoid.  I didn't want to hurt her, but I was also trying to avoid becoming a bitter old man, like the one in my friend Carlos's domestic violence class said, "After 40 years of marriage, I just wanted to know what it would feel like to hit her...and it felt GREAT!"  No thanks.  I'm already a naturally bitter and misanthropic person, due to an overestimation of my abilities when it comes to reading people.  Well, most of the time it's pretty dead-on, but every now and then I'm dead wrong.  Back to the point, though...I don't need any more reasons in my life to be bitter and full of regret.  I can only imagine the type of hatred a person could feel when they project this bitterness onto someone else as being the source of it...whew!  So it was the hardest thing in the world to walk away from someone I'd planned the rest of my life with...even discuss names of future children, but ask any 10 adult people if they have experienced the same type of lost love, and probably at least 5 of them will say "Yes..." and the other 5 are either too scared to open themselves up, are "career-oriented", eunuchs, serial killers, or haven't found and lost what they thought was "The one"...

So now, in my possible naivety, I have already found again what I think is "The one".  And I am suddenly reminded of Jerry Maguire where all those women keep saying, "He can't be alone...he's afraid to be alone...blah blah blah".  Bullshit...I've been a non-relationship person for more of my life than I have been a relationship person, and though I may be a tad bit slow on the uptake, I DO learn some lessons over time.  This thing we're in, baby, what is it now?  Ah, yes...life!  It's a constant process of clicking and jiving, and working one's way into a groove...finding that sweet spot where balance sets in...the Yin to offset the Yang, or vice-versa...

Now SHE...this ONE, I speak of...is quite the opposite of me, indeed.  But the things we have in common are the important ones...the things that cut to the very core of me.  We finish eachother's sentences in a non-sickening way...and we understand how the other feels without even having to express it...most of the time. However, when we aren't as good at guessing, we're even better at communicating with eachother...physically, verbally, etc.

Cindy is her name, and I'm meeting her parents on Saturday.  Her favorite Street Fighter character was Ibuki, so I designed a T-shirt for her with the female ninja herself on it, with "Go Ninja, Go..." in an Asian-style (but in English?) font.  That's the first time since macaroni and glitter that I've put "effort" into a Christmas gift...the ways she inspires me to think and be, are beyond compare!  I love her.

Now on to other topics, since if there are still any people who read this, I'd rather not induce vomiting.

As I finish school, I've got to hustle to get my paper, you kno-whamsayin'?  I've become the "go-to" guy of sorts for this dude who bought a house off my dad's girlfriend.  He needs a fence stained, I do it...needs help moving, I get my buddies...wants a landscaping rock, I got it covered (all obtained semi-legally), wants some new Pampas Grass in the front yard (even though it's not the season for it)...I got it, mayne.  Irrigation has slowed down, and freezing my balls off, wet and caked with mud is only a luxury I have the pleasure of enjoying maybe 30 hours a week, at most.  So I got some other hustles going...Marine Corps Reserves offers 20-24 hours of work a month...G.I. Bill deposits money into my account....growing marijuana...uh...is something I would never do (obviously, or else I would not have mentioned it, since I am very paranoid about the po-po)...but I've heard that with the proper N-P-K ratio of fertilizer, a well-ventilated area, and either a Metal Halide light or High Pressure Sodium one of considerable wattage and a light timer...perhaps with a hydroponic setup, one can grow some killer green!  Hahaha just kidding...

So we got piss tested this weekend at drill...and I set a first for the company...the first person to ever drop his cup of pee on the floor!  And no...it was not some sort of Gattaca-style switcheroo that I double-oh 7'd on the fly; this was simply an honest mistake.  I had to pee at the midget urinal and with the broken finger, I couldn't button my pants up without using both hands...thing is, the midget urinals are some slippery form of octahedral shape, lacking a ledge that their adult equivalents take for granted.  The only place to put my pee-cup was on top of the chrome flushing manifold...hmmm...I saw it slipping, but instead of fight, I chose flight, and quickly jumped away as the plastic pee-pee holder fell in slow-motion to the floor.  And these dudes lost it...you would've thought I was trying to sneak a bomb through airport security!  So I had to go back and drink more water, joining the 2nd and 3rd heats of "nervous pissers" who can't perform while the monitors are staring at their Johnny Wangs.  Luckily, the monitor remarked on how I was "not shy at all"...or is that really worthy of a 'luckily'?  Lol.

Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet, get high on pot.